shredded paper

29 07 2010

I’m feeling a little more chipper today.  Thanks for the emails and prayers, guys.  I need to forgive myself more for being a mere human and find the joy in the tiny things.

Like Nola impersonating the sand monster from Dune when I put some lotion on her really itchy snout.  It’s a great visual!

I finally emptied the birds’ nest after they abandoned this most recent clutch.  There were about 15 unhatched eggs in there and it was getting really ridiculous.  As soon as they’d incubate the eggs and realize they were infertile, they’d build another nest on top of the existing nest.

Last time, I had given them some straw and dry grasses from the pet store to use for the nest and they wove it endlessly.  Doves are terrible at making nests so endlessly means that they’d get pissed off at each other and throw the other’s work out of the nest and then spend hours guarding “home base.”  On a whim, I added some thinly shredded card stock and they LOVED it.

This time, instead of the straw I just put in a handful of thinly shredded unbleached paper and they’re having a ball.  They’re still fighting like crazy but it’s easier for them to pick up and manipulate.  I’m trying to avoid them with the camera because they get all freaked out and Pete’s been attacking me with his little beak.  It feels like getting tapped very lightly with a toothpick.  It just pisses him off all the more that it doesn’t bug me at all.

My birds are crazy creatures.  Otherwise they’d really hate living here.

ignore it, commence

29 12 2009

The birds are still doing their mating dance.

The kids are playing some weird pretend game with legos that is really loud.  At least they aren’t bossing each other around since the last time I sent a dirty look in their direction.

The dogs are in their “I’m not a trip hazard, I’m just sleeping” positions.*

I just got up to throw something away and apparently Cali is my herding dog on duty.  Normally I get Abbie who is much more noticeable and Cali herds the kids.

I’m still coughing up snot balls but I think my love affair with Mucinex will be nothing more than a one night stand.

So, what am I going to do about it all?  Nothing.

Nope, nothing at all.  I’m not going to interfere with the kids or try and drown out the bird screeching.  I’m not going to trip over the dogs.  I’m just going to ignore it all** and drink warm stuff and clean my room.  I want to get my closet cleaned out very very badly.  We have a new Goodwill about 5 minutes away and I so totally need an excuse to go!  Goodwill, today, I will have a bag of clothing to donate. 😀

I also need to figure out why my gamer suddenly doesn’t like the monitor that’s been on it for over a year. *rolls eyes* After that, I need to clean up the desk area, take some photos and introduce you to Patron.  Patron is my new Dirt Devil super sucker on a stick.  He’s totally awesome – he has no brushes or belts or anything.  He’s just a hand vac on a stick.  The first time I turned him on, he stuck to the floor like a suction cup and I had to pry him off.  I was going to name him Jose (after the jalepeno on a stick) but Shaun reminded me that I have a very bad time with Jose (Cuervo).  Jose is an asshole who gives me anger management problems and migraines.  So, Patron is the kinder, gentler intoxicating substance on a stick.  Or something.

Anyways, pictures soon.  I’m only 1/5th of the way through the Christmas pictures so it may be next year when you finally get to see Patron.

Other crap to do… combine lists into a master plan, figure out what gift cards go where and with who, and figure out what’s going on with LibraryThing and BookMooch***.  Fun stuff!

* Having shepherd dogs is great and they come with a factory setting that no firmware upgrade will override.  They herd things into groups and if you move, they put you back where you’re supposed to be.  If you stay put, they go to sleep.  There are times it’s really nice to be cattle – like if I’m having problems with my heart or if Shaun’s away on business.  Other times it’s like having a 60 lb hemorrhoid.

** Unless something the shepherds can’t handle happens – like the little shits figure out how to create an IED out of play-do or something.

*** BookMooch has been soooooooooo slow that I’m hardly ever on it.  It’s not that people don’t want my books, it’s that there’s nothing on there I don’t already have or that I don’t want.  So I have like 30 points with nothing to spend them on.  Anyone need a donation?  If so, comment me with your BM name and I’ll dispatch a few!

Amazingly effective

18 11 2009

It’s amazing how the human body and brain can push through pain.  Through the moments of passing out for 3 hours or hiding under my pillow, I’ve been amazingly productive.  I have to admit that I have plenty of practice at this – I’ve been having severe migraines since I was 10 years old.  This is why I consider disassociation a TOOL and not a DISEASE in people with chronic illnesses.

I imagine it’s like the accounts I’ve read of how soldiers survived and kept their mouths shut during torture and imprisonment.  Wow, that’s a cheerful thought!

Anyways, stuff I’ve accomplished in a fun and numerical way:

1.  Finished the other half of the Christmas stocking for LJ.  Shaun’s grandma made stockings for all her grandchildren and we had someone copy them for A&E (back when we thought we were only going to adopt A&E) the first Christmas they spent with us.  Last year I refused to put up stockings because we didn’t have one for LJ.  This year we will!

2.  Ordered supplies on the internet.  Seriously, getting the best deal online without getting ripped off is hard work.

3.  Put together a pipe accessory kit for our lovely Etsy customers.

4.  Took pictures, edited pictures and listed about 10 things on Etsy.

5.  Went to the fabric store and bought some cute fleece, some micro-fiber for our custom pipe bags, and some flannel & jersey for “fashion” pipe bags.

6.  Got a new computer.  It’s super duper fast and runs photoshop incredibly well, but the firewire ports aren’t working and that makes me pissy because I don’t have access to the servers right now.  I did set up the old computer on a nightstand so I have it to fall back on when I need it.

7.  Joined 2 pipe clubs online.  Somehow, Shaun became one of the most viewed pipe restorers on the internet (page 2 of Google, bitches!) and since I run the internet profiles, I figured I should meet our demographic.  It’s fun to talk to guys though – since I worked for an automotive advertising company for like FOREVER, it’s kind of my niche.

8.  I think I finally had a breakthrough with LJ in regards to our relationship.  It worked out the way most breakthroughs do – we had a major fight and then after we were done screaming at each other, some unabridged honesty showed up.

9.  Moved the birds to my nightstand and away from the window for the winter.  I don’t know if it was grief that her friends had all migrated away or that she was cold and itchy, but Cami pulled out a ton of feathers.  She’s doing a lot better now, but the birds love to torture me when I lay down.  If I don’t give them proper attention before I go to bed, I get pelted with seed and pine shavings all night. For such little birds, they’re incredibly talented at throwing things.  I get revenge by spritzing them with rosewater (alcohol free of course) and yelling RAINSTORM, RAINSTORM, RAINSTORM! in the mornings.

10.  I cleaned the living shit out of the bedroom.  Since I’m in here 24/7 right now due to the headache induced narcolepsy, I figure I should at least make it a pleasant place to be.  It’s kind of hard to tell how much cleaner it is unless you spend a lot of time in here, but it is vastly improved.

In general, un-numerated manner, I also wonder why people recycle circuit boards from computers without thoroughly glazing them with acrylic or glass.  Do they not realize that most of the components are TOXIC???  Yes, it is absolutely a good idea to take circuitry apart without gloves or a mask, cut it, and make candle holders and jewelry out of it.  Can a sister at least get a plastic lamination sheet?  Some diamond glaze?  A thick layer of Elmer’s glue? It amazes me that our government worries about flavored cigarettes being sold legally to adults when equal retards are taking electronics apart, grinding them into toxic dust, and then selling them without a single precaution?

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t recycle dead computers into new and useful things, just that there are safer ways to do it.  Raise the price a couple of dollars and buy some sealant.  Put it on thickly enough that the surface is smooth (the microscopic wires easily get under skin and it not only hurts like fuck, it’s not that good for you.)  Just writing that paragraph makes me want to smack the person who caused the label “do not eat” to be put on those rare earth magnets.   Or the Kleenex brand for refusing to use recycled or sustainable paper products instead of rain forests.  Or the goblins that keep stealing the red straws from my Cans’o’Air.

Speaking of that, I wonder if one of those air mattress pumps would work to clean my computer.  Experiment engage!

Deep Thoughts

9 07 2009

Hopefully I have at least 5 deep thoughts for you tonight.

1.  It’s impossible to own a human being but we use “ownership” pronouns constantly.  My kids.  My mom.  Your dad.  Our parents.  My husband.  We simply lease relationships with people until we are seperated.

2.  On the other hand, the law sees animals as property.   Not all animals are meat on the hoof… but still we “own” our companion animals.

3.  Being at the dentist at 8 am is not my idea of fun.  However, the children’s dentist is really cool and they give “candy air” to the kids.  It makes them very funny for about an hour, especially when it starts to wear off.  Alyssa says “Mommy, my feet tickle all by themselves!”

4.  6 oz birds should not be able to rule your life, but somehow, Pete and Cami certainly think they own me.  They’ll have to fight Spooks, Ernie, and Abbie for ownership.  Nola’s happy just being my friend and Calista is interested in the flavor of my chapstick. I need to remind them that they only reason they aren’t food is because they’ll never be big enough to stuff.

5.  My The kids who live in my house have an absolutely 0% chance of being normal.  Ever.  Their mom’s idea of fun is to freak up the makeup, strap on the camera, go to the aquarium and remind the freak-sized spider crabs that they taste good with butter and take pictures of the shocked faces.  It works even better when you have about 6 adorable kids with you who look absolutely innocent.  The oldest gets to hold the camera.

6.  Bonus thought!  No matter how odd my life is, I’m still shocked that the local supermarket is giving away a free watermelon with every purchase.  Things you don’t expect from your cashier:  would you like a free watermelon?  A what?  A watermelon.  Say that again.  WATERMELON.  It’s free – pick one up on your way out.

7.  Bonus thought!  Every single person I know objectifies my “ghetto bootie” and I kind of like it.  One of my friends who is from Haiti said “you know your daddy ain’t white, right?”  the very first time we met.  Not-so-secretly, I love that.  It’s like the only physical feature I have that seperates me from the crowd of average height, average weight, pink toned women.

Time to pick one of my three new books and get in the tub.  I should be able to sleep in tomorrow, thankyouJesus!  I get to choose from Laurell K. Hamilton, Michael Palmer, and Catherine Coulter’s TailSpin.  The first two are guaranteed to rock.  The last one is not so sure… I’m about to reevaluate my love of Ms. Coulter.  The last few have been just exploiting her bestseller name.  I’ll keep TABLP updated on THAT relationship.

Busy Bird Day

29 06 2009

Pete and Cami, my two diamond doves, woke me up this morning chattering like crazy.  Diamond doves are normally very calm, chilled out little birds.  They don’t really play with toys and they don’t really chatter the way finches do.  They just relax.

Diamond doves are TINY.  I have the world’s smallest hands, and one barely fills up my palm.  When my husband has to catch one after it escapes (normally Cami – Pete is a wuss) his two cupped hands give the bird more than enough room to move around.

They were excited this morning.  I went over to open the curtain to the window their cage is in front of, and they started spinning in circles on their perches, cooing at the top of their teeny tiny lungs.  I looked out the window and the full sized mourning dove who lives in the tree out front was sitting there waiting.  Apparently, this is a very special appearance and my two little innocent doves turned into squawking teenagers going nuts over a heart throb.

He stayed for a bit and they talked.  Well, he would coo like a big dove and they would flip shit.  Then the two chipping sparrows came to visit.  They pranced and pecked for a bit before they were joined by a grosbeak, a couple of red finches, and a grackle.  The grackle and the dove are the largest birds the two little ones will tolerate.  They attack the window whenever a robin or cardinal shows up so we see mostly finches and the little sparrows.

Here are some of our regulars.  Shaun gets the good pictures because I’d need a stool to shoot pics out of the window without a screen.