sort em out

22 06 2010

I’ve been making stamps lately.  This one is of Abbie, our oldest pup.  I think it’s damn awesome but the others haven’t turned out as well.

I need to keep on practicing but something more pressing has come up.  Last week when Chickpea’s aid came out, I was looking at pictures on the kids’ computer out in the kitchen.

We recently traded out the computer due to a hard drive taking a giant shit.  Thank God for home networks.   Let me caution you though – check your settings if you run your own servers.  Check every computer every time you think about it.

Otherwise, your husband will dock the laptop the kids broke the power supply on.  It still works if it’s docked.  The other computer needs a hard drive which means it’s just a short table at the moment.

This laptop was MY personal one.  The one I replaced with my super awesome ASUS netbook.  The one that had wide open settings to the network.  It’s like a 2005 model Dell running XP which means I was expecting it to take the long dirt nap very soon.  New ASUS?  I forgot about the old Dell with the server access.

Then, some random Thursday your kids’ aid will come to the house and you’ll pull up a folder.  Of course the View is set to Thumbnail.  And you absolutely have the best flat screen money can buy with super visibility from all angles.  You’ll go to scroll down to pull up the pictures of the kids’ cousins and all of a sudden in the bottom corner are BOOBIES.

Not just any boobies, but YOUR boobies.  I know they’re mine because I have this little third nipple on the right one.

See, I have this folder on the network for photo CDs that I ripped after the epic hard drive failure of 2009.  I dumped all the files into a folder so I could sort them later.  Yes, I have all my personal pictures on the fucking network but I still can’t find my hentai from that failure.

I don’t know what’s more awesome – having your own naughties accessible or having porn saved to a drive that you can’t find.

Today I’m not making stamps.  I’m sorting photos from my dump file.  Listening to Eminem wearing a wife beater with no bra and no deodorant.  Attractive, huh?  I’m taking my tits off the server and hopefully this time they’ll stay that way.

Anyways, if you accidentally flash someone just keep on scrolling.  What? You saw a nipple?  Naw, that was just some bald kid’s head.  Yeah, that birthmark is genetic.  That other girl in the picture?  Oh, that’s my sister.  She’s got the same birthmark on her head too.  It’s a good thing she’s got hair because she’d look like a giant breast if she shaved it.  Moving on.

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