Things I Know as of March 23, 2010 at around 10 am.
1. Looking through my portfolio of work, I am an incredibly talented person.
2. Somehow, my portfolio of work that I so painstakingly put together does not include my resume.
3. I have a more current resume than the one from 2005 that was on an old hard drive.
4. I can’t find that more current resume in any of the “normal” places.
5. God always puts us where he wants us to be.
6. God has a sense of humor.
7. Sally Hansen and Bare Escentuals need to have a smack-down fight over who has the better lip plumping gloss. (Sally doesn’t burn if you put on too much, Bare Escentuals has more colors…)
8. Escentuals is logically-spelled-challenged.
9. It’s a good thing Bare Escentuals makes a good product, otherwise more people would be pissed off about their stupid spelling. (Which is probably to avoid copyright infringement on the line of spa and bath products with a similar name.)
10. There needs to be a line of “less energy” drinks for people who want to relax or go to sleep. Instead of ginseng, it can have xanax as an active ingredient.
11. If you ever need lessons in “how to be a poser” you just need to visit Discover Mills outlet mall. Take a notebook because there’s no way you can remember every example you’ll see.
12. Don’t mess with short people or small dogs. They bite and have terrible tempers.
13. Wisdom comes from all kinds of strange places.
14. If you treat someone like a little kid, they’re going to act like a little kid.
15. Everyone has an interesting history but it sure is awkward to ask about it.