Goodwill Day

27 02 2010

On a side note before I write this post, why is it that when I need a notepad I can’t ever find one?  All I need is to jot down the file name of this picture! Now if I’m trying to do something that doesn’t require paper, I’m overwhelmed with all different types of sticky notes and notebooks and crap.  The  missing sock fairy is fucking with me!

Yesterday Shaun and I declared today “Goodwill Day.”  Isn’t that such a nice warm, fuzzy name?  I mean it really motivates you to give stuff away as you imagine homeless people shopping for sweaters and shoes for thrift store prices.  We have 3 Goodwill stores within a 30 mile radius and 2 homeless people.  One of those people has a home, he’s just the community crazy person who walks up and down the road all day.

In our little suburban American home, it really means “we’ve collected too much shit and some of it has to GO before you can get more shit.”  For us, that means clothing.  Kids grow taller and we grow a little wider and a little saggier.  I’m looking at a stack of shirts of Shaun’s that were in the Goodwill stack that I salvaged because I love the fabric.  I know that most likely, it will be a while before I use it but damn – fabric is expensive and men’s shirts at Goodwill are like $2.40!  If you get a 2X that’ll make more than a nice throw pillow!

While I’m only half sarcastic about giving stuff to Goodwill – I am totally 100% ecstatic about Goodwill Day because I get to go to the store!  Why?  Books!  Racks and racks of books that are so much more random than browsing at Barnes & Nobles.  I can buy EVERYTHING that looks interesting and spend $30.  If I go to B&N, I get to pick out either 3 paperbacks or one hardback for $30.  (Normally, I spend upwards of $200 if I’m let anywhere close to a traditional book store.  I have no willpower.)

Those Animorphs books up there?  That was my last Goodwill Day score for LJ because he reads like I do.  75 cents a piece, bitches.  75 cents!  That’s where I pick up the Scholastic books that are pimped at school book fairs too.  I love Scholastic books but I hate those damn book fairs. (This is the part of the show where I channel Katt Williams.)

Now, baby, I know your school has been sending home those flyers every day for a month and I know that’s all your teachers are talking about.  I know.  Now let’s look at this paper.  It’s saying this awesome book is 25 pages long and the pictures are really awesome.  It also says that book is $15.  You’ll be done reading that book the day you get it.  After that, it’ll sit on a shelf and maybe sometime later you’ll read it again.  Because it won’t take you long to finish it, you’ll want two or three of these awesome books and baby, I just don’t have that kind of money because you also like video games, toys, and movies.

Let’s think for a second, baby.  All those other kids at your school – all 2,000 of them – are getting this same paper sent home and most of them can’t read well.  So their mama is going to look at this and think “if I spend $15, maybe he’ll practice” or something.  Thing is, that book will come in and that kid isn’t ever going to look at it.  Odds are pretty good that those brand new books are going to end up at one of the 3 community Goodwills for 75 cents a piece.  THEN, because you waited, I can buy you EVERY SINGLE BOOK in that flyer and still only spend $15.

So, happy Goodwill Day!  I’ll be in my closet if you need me.

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