Shaun and I have been married for 10 years today! It’s pretty damn amazing… unless you’re one of the ones who has been there since we met. It’s always been kinda supernatural for us – not what I’d call soul mates – but instant friends. It’s like we had a gravity towards each other and worked better as partners than as “one soul in two bodies.”
I dreamed last night of a high school reunion planning meeting. I’m not one of the organizers, but I see the updates on facebook all the time so it must have been rolling around in my subconscious. It was me and three girls watching a team of football players finish up their game. We were talking about how none of us turned out the way we had expected in school. That our lives were different than we had planned. Then this one girl, who used to dance in school, came flashing by, holding her hands in a certain way to show off her manicure. I thought to myself that some people did not evolve with the rest of us…
People make caricatures of the people they are around in their brain. They are more 2 dimensional than reality and are often false indicators. It’s easier to attribute certain broad traits to someone in our own brain, which is why at times we are surprised when the person – who is not 2D – acts out of character.
I’m not saying that Shaun and I have complete 3D maps. We don’t at all. We just don’t mind being surprised. It doesn’t happen often anymore but it does happen. We have assumptions about what the other is thinking and sometimes we have to hash it out to get to the same place.
We have different personalities and different ideas. At times we frustrate the hell out of each other. We also compliment each other’s personality. I’m quick to anger and then after the emotion dies down, I can be very analytical about something. Shaun is very slow to anger and will put up with almost anything until you push him over the edge, then he’s mad and it takes him time to calm down. Shaun is a casual social person. I’m a formal social person. He’d rather beer and a couch in someone’s home and I’d rather a cocktail on neutral territory (where I didn’t have to clean up.) Shaun likes an overhead view of problems and issues, and I like details that seem meaningless and unrelated.
We’re a nice fit. We love each other. But best of all, we’re partners.
I need to find a better picture but we’ve got the kids’ psychiatrist appt this morning. Busy, busy!