I started my period today and it sucks. Estrogen sucks. Even in my thought process, every other word is “fuck.” Shit, damn, fuck, and grrr. Women in my family don’t have the gene that makes periods normal. It’s always super-painful and leaves us with a dangerously low blood count. My sister had a hysterectomy last year, and she’s 3.5 years younger than me. I’ve just been holding out for some cosmic recompense in the whole fertility thing. I think I’m on pain pill #7 and it’s just cd1 of this bitch.
I hate that I can’t stop thinking in terms of cycle days. I hate that I know egg whites are the best lubricant for when you’re TTC. I hate these damn horomones and I hate the damn cyst on my brain that clomid left me with.
At least I don’t have to pass on these stupid genetics. The blue eyes that sparkle because the curve on my cornea causes me to need -5.25 contact lenses. The high metabolism that keeps me thin but is caused by a heart defect that leaves me abnormally sensitive to EVERYTHING. I hate that I’m 28 and I’ll probably have a pacemaker and no uterus by the time I’m 38.
I think I’m gonna pout.