Today in News

5 04 2007

So, today in news there are two things that struck me quite as quite odd. News is always odd but c’mon now…

The VA Removes Wrong Testicle

Synopsis: Dude has a sucky testicle that may be cancerous. Goes to get it removed. Forgets to write NOT THIS NUT on the other testicle and now it’s gone.

Forget the VA doing this for a moment… we hear all kinds of horror stories about hospitals in general cutting off the wrong limb. We even saw two people on House, Season II write NOT THIS ONE on their legs. House wrote NOT THIS ONE on one and NOT THIS ONE EITHER on the other.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, legs are not as important as testiculars. How’d he leave this part out?

Also, who the hell would want this kind of attention brought on themselves? Four words: settle out of court. Four more: do NOT tell anyone.

in other news…

Teen Sues Over Mooning Punishment

Synopsis: A teen mooned a teacher and she was so traumatized that he was transferred to another school for the remainder of his senior year.

Hey, lady, who are you that you’re traumatized by a teenage butt?

I kind of have a similar story. My sister was on a band trip at the ripe young age of 16 and this guy flashed his weenie at her and her friends on the bus. The next day, all the girls were brought in to the guidance counselor’s office one by one with their parents.

Guidance counselor to my dad: Sir, the school will pay for any therapy that she may need.

Dad: What????

Guidance counselor: One of the other girls was so traumatized she took a handful of diet pills. We understand this is highly traumatic.

Dad: What???

Guidance counselor: We just want you to know that we are handling the situation and if A needs any support, we’re here for her.

Dad: You think that’s the first dick she’s ever seen? Who are you kidding?

A.: Thanks Dad.

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