Playing outside

… remember folks, always wear your sunscreen.

We had a nice weekend, I’d have to say.  Shaun went out and cut the grass and I chilled in the hammock with a beer, watching the kids play and reading the new Catherine Coulter book Knock Out.

I could only stay out about an hour before I felt myself roasting through the SPF 60 sunscreen.  With my skin, I’m one of three colors:  goth white, lobster red, or speckled brown.  I’m hoping this year I may get to a tan color somewhat resembling my mom’s.

The kids think my skin is so weird.  Seriously, A&E are the whitest kids ever.  EVAR.  Well, blonde children may be lighter but some of them are at least tannable.  They have like three freckles and two moles between them.  LJ has a pretty (ok, handsome) tan all over.  I’m thinking he’s either half-hispanic or half-Asian with his black hair, brown eyes, and skin tone.  No one really knows.  That just means he’ll look like MY side of the family.  Whose racial heritage no one… really knows.  (I mean, seriously people, how wide can you spread your genetic pool?  Sooner or later you have to run out of people to make babies with.) They’ll all fit right in!

Check out how cool and coordinated I am!  I mean, even my earbuds match my hat and bikini.  The iPod is silver though, so it kinda throws off the whole groove.  At first, I was all the way in the shade, but then the sun moved on me!  It’s a good thing that the whole geeks dissolving in sunlight thing is only a myth.

It's hard to smile when you're being roasted!

When to throw it away

Nothing pains me more than having to throw a book away.  Nothing.  It’s like admitting your 93 year old grandfather just can’t be kept on life support any longer – that it’s time to move on to something new.

This is a very apt metaphor.  Books, if recycled can move on to a kind of “book heaven” where they can become other things.  If coke bottles can become blankets, books can be ground down and the paper re-used for new books! (Or toilet paper, or packing material, or whatnot.)

Here are 5 times you should not feel guilty about sending a book to the wild paper-product yonder:

1.  In case of severe water damage and mold.  The black plague cannot be cured when it takes hold of books.  You either have to cut out the cancer or send it on its way.  If the water damage is so severe that you cannot seperate the pages, it’s time to let it go as well.

2.  Obsolete computer books.  Seriously, why do they print these things anymore?  This is what the internet is for.  Have that old “How to Design a Webpage” from 1998 still sitting around?  I promise you, you will never use it.  The only person who can find value in these is my dad who uses obsolete computer parts to fix new computer bugs… and I doubt he’s ever used a book for that.

3.  Mass market paperbacks that are falling apart.  It’s normally cheaper to replace these than have them fixed.  Unless the book is out of print or you have sentimental value placed in that one copy, just replace it.  I do have a sentimental MMP that’s falling apart – it’s the first romance novel I ever read.  I was a teenager and I sat in the floor of the library reading it until my mom found me (thank God I’m a fast reader) and then I had to repeat the exercise until I finished the book.  Years later, I couldn’t find it in print, so I went back to that library and it was in the same place on the same shelf, having never been touched again.  I checked it out and never took it back… the late fees were well worth it.  When it came back into print, I bought a new copy for reading, but that first copy will always be loved.

4.  Books that have met the fate of canine kind.  I left a copy of The Invisible War in the bathroom floor and my Great Dane found it.  There was nothing left to do but hold a funeral.

5.  The book the Jehovah’s Witnesses or Mormons left hanging on your mailbox because you pretended you weren’t home.  I have about 40 of them…  Unless you are particularly interested (I kept one that said “Caucasian Version”) condemn them to the fiery pits of recyclers, please.

You may feel guilty, but trust me – the fate of your library is better off with this kind of weeding.  Hopefully the book you lost can be reincarnated into a book you love.  (However, if it’s not on the list, you’d be better off mailing it to me than throwing it out.  When I die, I am going to haunt people who throw away books needlessly – and I’m a giant bitch.)